Crystal Aura Gaze

The power of negativity is severely underestimated. I mean the term “power” in a negative way – not that it gives you power, but that it takes power away from you.

Negativity is controlling you

When negativity takes hold on the subconscious mind, you lose control over your steering wheel. Nobody wants negative outcomes – but when the mind expects this, it constantly looks for it.

Many people believe that negativity is a form of protection and self-preservation. In reality, negativity serves as just the opposite. When you continue to use negativity as a shield, when will you ever put down your armor in order to feel the positivity?

In psychology, this is known as “self-fulfilling prophecy.” In spiritual talk, this is called “manifestation.” And in psychics, this say, “what stays in motion, remains in motion.”

Negative beliefs will continue to attract negative energy. If you choose to be negative, you will continue to be negative. It’s basic science. You must be expecting a miracle when you tell yourself that positivity will just, *poof!*, appear out of nowhere.

Radical positivity (vs. toxic positivity)

You will be amazed at how many doors open up in your life when you choose to be positive. I call this radical positivity. The reason why the term “radical” is necessary, is because we live in a society that is programmed to be negative. And so, it’s something that feels very unnatural and uncomfortable at first.

Radical positivity should not be confused with toxic positivity. Toxic positivity, on the other hand, is turning a blind eye to anything that is negative, refusing to admit it exists. Radical positivity, however, acknowledges the negative yet makes a radical decision to choose the positive.

Toxic positivity says, “look at the bright side!” even in situations where there is no bright side. Toxic positivity denies grief, sadness, angry, or any other uncomfortable emotion. Toxic positivity does not allow release and acceptance.

Expectations…

People say, “but having a negative expectation saves me from disappointment.” That’s not true at all. When you have a negative expectation, you’re going to subconsciously look for the negative parts. You’re walking into a situation setting yourself up for failure.

People are confusing negative expectations with detached expectations.

• Negative expectation: This is probably going to be horrible.

• Detached expectation: This might end up being horrible or amazing – I’m open to either outcome.

Now, let’s take this a step further and combine detached expectation with radical positivity…

• Detached expectation + radical positivity: I have a feeling that this is going to be amazing. But if it’s not, I’ll be okay.

And now, let’s see how this compares to “toxic positivity”…

• Detached expectation + toxic positivity: This is going to be horrible or amazing, and I’m open to either perspective. But no matter what happens, I’m going to force myself to see it as amazing.

So, whatever place or situation you’re getting yourself into, radical positivity makes space for positivity without demanding it. Disappointment is a part of life – and sometimes it happens. Radical positivity allows you to feel disappointed yet also understands that it’s not the end of the world.

Wake up from your haze of negativity

Negativity is hurting you. You think that you can use negativity as a weapon against itself. You’re fighting fire with fire. You think that you can defeat negativity by being more negative.

You think this way because society programs us to be this way. You can blame it on capitalism, elitism, generational trauma – or all of the above. Negativity is more contagious than the flu. All it takes it one person to do or say something negative, and the rest of the crowd does the same.

The economy profits off of your negativity. The government gains power over your negativity. The rich get richer and the powerful get more powerful when you choose to be negative. That’s because negativity strips absolutely everything away from you.

But you do not only hurt yourself when you remain in a state of negativity. Even worse, you hurt those around you – you hurt your loved ones.

Negativity is hurting your loved ones

The people who love and trust you are hurting when you choose to be negative. You’ve been disappointed by people before, so your negative instincts tell you to see the worst in others. By doing this, you’re putting your loved ones on a treadmill, in which nothing they do is good enough to make you happy.

You expect people to let you down, or waste your time, or ruin your life. In fact, the ones who you love the most – they have the power to hurt you the most – so you expect them to hurt you as a form of self-preservation.

You don’t understand how hurtful this mindset is. When you can only see the worst in those you love, you tell yourself that it’s a way of protecting yourself from getting hurt. But while you’re “protecting yourself” (which doesn’t actually work), you are hurting your loved ones who think that they’ll never be good enough for you.

Expectations of others…

Now, let’s go back to the expectation example – but instead of applying it to a situation, applying it to a person/people.

• Negative expectation: They are going to let me down. I have to stay guarded. The moment I let them in, they’re going to hurt me.

• Detached expectation: They might disappoint me at some point, or they might not.

• Detached expectation + radical positivity: They may or may not disappoint me someday. Regardless, I’m really grateful for this person being in my life.

When you expect the worst in someone, you are hurting both yourself and others. It’s completely understandable to have your guard up – in fear of getting hurt. But this guard that serves as protection, ends up becoming a weapon.

See, it is possible to protect yourself with detachment rather than negativity. Detachment allows the possibility of any outcome – negativity guarantees a bad outcome.

Roles reversed

Have you ever dealt with someone who is negative? This could be anyone – romantic or platonic. How does it feel when someone you truly care for chooses to see the worst in you?

This is how it feels:

• No matter how much I do for them, it will never be enough.
• No matter how much I am there for them, they keep on waiting for me to mess up.
• No matter how much I tell them that I love them, they don’t believe me.
• No matter how much I prove that they can trust me, they will always feel a sense of distrust towards me.

And these types of thought patterns end up leading to these beliefs:

• I’m not good enough.
• I’m a bad person.
• I just need to try harder to make them see the best in me.

The power of positivity

Positivity and negativity are equally powerful – but positivity brings the good type of power. Instead of taking power away from you, it gives it to you.

“What you think, you become.” – Buddha

Being positive is like working a muscle. It’s not easy at first – but the more you use it, the more natural it feels. Words cannot describe how much a positive mindset changes your life for the better. But you have to remember: it’s something that you choose, not something that appears on its own.

People say that you “choose happiness,” but I disagree – you choose positivity, and then happiness is the result of that. Remember that being positive does not mean forcing yourself to be happy, it means allowing yourself to be happy. There’s a huge difference.

Take a leap of faith

Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes and will continue to make mistakes, no matter how much we try to learn from our pasts. Hindsight is always 20-20. Your loved ones will let you down again at some point, and you will let them down again at some point, and none of it intentionally.

Life is risky. Opening your heart is scary. What if they let me down? Even worse, what if I let them down? You keep on spiraling. You found comfort in chaos. Being negative is the only thing that feels natural to you. The world made you believe that negativity makes you strong – but it actually turns you into a coward.

Make the brave decision to be positive. What’s the worst that could happen? The worst that could happen is that the person who loves you is left out in the cold because you were too scared to let them in.

What’s the best that could happen? That’s the question you need to ask yourself.