Crystal Aura Gaze

This is one of Lana Del Rey’s most controversial and critiqued songs, but mainly because it is often misunderstood.

This is a song about being in an abusive relationship. It’s not trying to glamorize it all – which is what some people claim. Really, this is getting inside the head of the victim.

In abusive relationships, victims tend to justify their abuser’s behavior by claiming that their hurtful actions come from a place of love. This is a trap that victims fall into and what makes it so impossible for them to simply leave. Victims are criticized – why don’t you just leave this person if they’re abusing you? They stay because they are in denial of the abuse.

An abusive relationship can be abusive verbally, emotionally, mentally, or physically – or all of the above. Abuse can take place in any form. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times it’s sneaky. For the victim, it can be almost impossible to clearly see.

The title “ultraviolence” connects the two words ultra and violence, resembling the word “ultraviolet.”

He used to call me DN
That stood for deadly nightshade
‘Cause I was filled with poison
But blessed with beauty and rage

This is a story that is being told in retrospect. The narrator is reflecting on a time in her life in which she was in an abusive relationship.

It already shows very mixed emotions. His words lifted her up and put her down at the same time. Deadly nightshade is a type of poisonous flower. He told her that she was beautiful and blessed, but that she was filled with poison.

There is abuse in his words. By telling her that she is toxic, he’s making her believe that she could be the abusive one in the relationship. It paints himself as the victim instead, flipping the narrative.

Jim told me that
He hit me and it felt like a kiss

The lyric “he hit me and it felt like a kiss” is taken from a 1960s song about an abusive relationship. This line is highly criticized, by Lana did not come up with this herself. Also, it’s not something that the narrator is saying, this is what the abuser is saying.

We now have a name for the abuser, which is “Jim.” He hits her, he physically abuses her, and he explains it away by saying that it feels like an expression of love. This is how he justifies his toxic behavior and continues to flip the script.

Jim brought me back
Reminded me of when we were kids

This line can mean two different things. One is that she’s revealing a long history with one another, that they go back to as far as being kids. And “kids” doesn’t have to imply actual children, but they were teenagers or young adults.

Another meaning could be that their abusive relationship reminds her of a previous person, or people, who abused her during her childhood. When children are abused, they are likely to follow that pattern into adulthood. Or, if Jim was abused during his childhood, that could have lead him to becoming an abuser himself.

With his ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
I can hear sirens, sirens
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
I can hear violins, violins
Give me all of that ultraviolence

In the chorus, the violence is emphasized. She can hear sirens – she knows that she is in danger. She can hear violins – she is upset and heartbroken.

But at the same time, she doesn’t want it to end. She wants to keep going, even though a part of her knows that it’s not right. She’s justifying his abuse as passion and care – because that’s what he conditioned her to believe.

He used to call me poison
Like I was poison ivy

Once again, he’s calling her toxic. This time, she’s comparing herself to poison ivy. She’s romanticizing his verbal abuse.

I could’ve died right then
‘Cause he was right beside me

On one hand, she is praising him. People use the expression “I could’ve died” in a positive way, like you’re melting or blushing. She is right beside him, so she is at total peace and she could die in his arms.

On the other side, is a super dark interpretation. She could’ve died in a literal sense – when he’s physically hurting her, leaving bruises, breaking bones, and so on.

Jim raised me up
He hurt me but it felt like true love

Jim raised her up by praising her and love-bombing her. She acknowledged that he hurt her (whether emotionally, physically, or both) – and continues to justify it as a form of love.

Jim taught me that
Loving him was never enough

When she saw his dark side, she had faith that her love could cure him. She thought that forgiving him over and over could change him into a better man. But the truth is – he just kept taking advantage of her kindness.

With his ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
Ultraviolence
I can hear sirens, sirens
He hit me and it felt like a kiss
I can hear violins, violins
Give me all of that ultraviolence

The chorus repeats.

We can go back to New York
Loving you was really hard
We could go back to Woodstock
Where they don’t know who we are

Past tense changes to present tense. It shows that she is not completely removed from this relationship – it’s not completely in the past, there’s still lingering energy.

She’s bargaining. Even though she learned that Jim is an abuser, there’s still a part of her that wants to make this relationship work. That tiny part of her is blinded in denial.

Despite how difficult it was, which she understands, she is still missing him. She questions, maybe if we run away and go somewhere where nobody knows us, things could be easier. Maybe everyone else is to blame – not him.

Heaven is on earth
I will do anything for you, babe
Blessed is this union
Crying tears of gold, like lemonade

Deep down, she is hopelessly in love with him. She sees their partnership as holy and sacred.

“Gold like lemonade” is a phrase that Lana uses in several of her song lyrics. In this specific context, it connect to that phrase, “when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.” She’s taking an abusive relationship and twisting it into something sweet. But this is toxic positivity – forcing something deadly to be seen as a good thing.

I love you the first time
I love you the last time
Yo soy la princesa, comprende mis white lines

“Understand my white lines” could mean so many things – it may have been written with multiple meanings. The most obvious reference is drugs – comparing their relationship to a drug, it’s toxic yet addictive.

White lines can also represent scars – the scars that he gave her. She wants him to understand that he scarred her. Alternatively, the color white can represent purity, which spotlights her innocence and naiveness towards him.

Lastly, white lines can also symbolize boundaries. Abuse means ignoring someone’s boundaries, so she’s telling him to please respect her boundaries – as if this is going to fix everything.

‘Cause I’m your jazz singer
And you’re my cult leader
I love you forever
I love you forever

These feelings are so strong and she can’t shake them. As his jazz singer, she is raw and honest in her emotions towards him. By comparing him to a cult leader, it’s another reference to his mind games, power imbalance, and mental abuse. She will follow him and worship him blindly.

And that’s the greatest tragedy of the abusive relationship. Not only is he hurting her, she has been brainwashed to keep coming back to him.

In abusive relationships, it is usually the abuser who ends up walking away, not the victim. The abuser only walks away when they notice that the victim has begun to wake up and see the truth. The abuser leaves because they were never even invested in the first place – to them, the relationship was just an energy supply to feed their egos. It was never about love.

For the victim, even once they wake up and acknowledge the abuse, they still crave their abuser – who leaves a lifelong scar. They will miss their abuser for the rest of their lives. And they will see their love as stronger than healthy couples, because they forgive over and over.