Crystal Aura Gaze

I made a new friend somewhat recently. It was a colorful adventure getting to know them. We seemed different at first and then I saw perhaps we were too similar. They were funny and unique, with a wonderful smile. But there was trouble. The friendship could not work. And it was a lot harder for me to accept that than it was for them. I kept looking for opportunities to resolve the confusion and anxiety. I wish I could have an honest conversation with them. But this is something that can’t just be “fixed.” Grieving means riding out the pain instead of finding instant gratification. I’ll hold on to the good memories and try to forget about the bad ones. I’ll listen to Grateful Dead or Elton John or Black Sabbath and be reminded of them. I care about them so much, and I want them to know that, but not if that means scaring them away. They are still in my life but they are not fully there anymore. What was once a spotlight is now a shadow. I’m fighting with the universe and convincing myself there has to be a way that we could be closer without any pain. This is a battle that nobody can win. And so I breathe, I live in the moment, I do my yoga, and I let it be…