Crystal Aura Gaze

Artemis

When I was a kid, I was ruled by Artemis. Goddess of wilderness, I was free spirited and wild. I loved being outside and spending time in nature; I also carried a great admiration for animals. Artemis is associated with youth; she is unmarried and prefers the company of animals over people. School was hard for me at times, because I preferred hands-on learning over lectures, textbooks, sitting still. Being a child, I felt powerless, and I strongly resented the teachers and institutions who held me captive. Freedom was so important to me. I wanted to explore — without being watched, critiqued, or judged. The world was my wilderness.

I was really against institutions and anything traditional. A lot of little girls dream about their future weddings, but I never wanted one, or at least never cared much to think about that. I didn’t always have much success joining clubs and sticking to them, because I usually ended up feeling bogged down. The longest thing I stuck with was dance, and even so, I was trying a lot of different styles and couldn’t commit to one kind. I hated feeling obligated to something. My family went to UU Church, but I also would go to different churches with my friends and cousins, because I didn’t want to feel stuck to one religion.

Aphrodite

Through my teen years and entering early adulthood, my guidance turned to Aphrodite. I still had a craving for freedom and exploration, but my priorities were changed in that I sought romance. Aphrodite is the goddess of love, but not necessarily the goddess of partnership. Her soulmate is Aries, but they never married, as she was forced to marry someone else. But love was always the number one thing on my mind. Thoughts of money, status, or climbing the corporate latter had no appeal to me. And not just love, but beauty — I needed to be beautiful, as beautiful as possible.

Aphrodite gave me the confidence that I didn’t have as a kid, like she helped me come out of hiding. With Artemis, my spirit was deep in the woods, but Aphrodite brought me into the spotlight. I let go of my fear of judgement, and instead, embraced the attention. She doesn’t need everyone to love her, but she teaches you how to love yourself. You also learn how to accept joy and pleasure – and you don’t have to feel guilty about your happiness.

Vesta

Now, I’ve felt myself turning away from Aphrodite, in that my priorities have changed once again. I’m still prioritizing love, but a very different type of love: partnership. While I still wish to be beautiful, it’s not the same type of beauty I used to crave. It’s become so much more internal now. Lately, my new goddess has been Vesta, goddess of the home and hearth. I’ve been taking care of my home as if it’s a sacred sanctuary. I’m so much more focused on my inner world than my outer. My desires are comfort, security, and stability.

Vesta keeps the fire alive through her focus and dedication. She is far more disciplined than Aphrodite, and is more concentrated than Artemis. And this is where I am right now and where I’m headed. I’ve found simple joys in cooking and cleaning. I’ve found more value in my private life – and less of a need to show off or expose myself. Along with that, Vesta has a strong sense of spirituality.

I believe that all men and women go through periods of our life in which we are guided by different gods and goddesses. For example, you may be guided by Athena through intellectual pursuits, or by Zeus through leadership endeavors. We connect to different gods (metaphorically – ideologies and themes) all throughout our lives.

What sparked this thought is that, for the longest time, I was very drawn to Aphrodite/Venus. She was probably my favorite goddess. I really loved everything that she represented. Lately, for the first time, I don’t feel that connection anymore. And I realized that my new path is through Vesta (or Hestia in Greek.)

This made me think about my childhood, in which I realized I was guided by Artemis (but wasn’t aware at the time, as I didn’t know much about mythology back then.) She really represents who I was as I kid. And I will see which gods I connect with in the future.