DAY 11: [HERMES] A letter to your future self.
Hermes is the god of communication.
Dear future self,
I’m looking forward to being you — my future self. Even though, aging is scary, and a bit disappointing and sobering. But I feel like I do grow much wiser with age. And the wisdom outweighs the fear every time. That’s because life is much scarier when you don’t have as much wisdom.
I definitely notice this trend as I age. I can see my college self, looking back on my high school self, and feeling so much self-improvement. The same thing goes for my recent post grad self looking back on my college self, or my late twenties self looking back at my early twenties self, and so forth. I always think, “wow, I am so much smarter and wiser now than I ever was before.” But then, surprise, your future self actually shows you that you still had so much more to learn.
We never stop growing and learning for as long as we are alive.
The challenge doesn’t specify what age your “future self” is. When I think of that term, I personally think about ten years. It’s difficult for me to comprehend beyond that. Let’s just take life ten years at a time. I also never like to assume that I’m going to be alive for a certain length of time. It’s not morbid, it’s called being humble, ok?
Anyway, I hope you’re doing well. I’d like to assume that you are. I picture you in a garden, wearing a dress, watering the flowers on a spring day. That’s the image in my head when I think ten years from now. I’d like to imagine that you are surrounded by friends and family.
But I can also see myself as an 80-year old, if I make it that long. It’s hard to picture myself anywhere between my thirties and my eighties. I can’t really picture myself at any age between that. Weird. But I’d like to see myself as a grandma sipping earl grey tea, with lots of cats running around. Some elegant grey hair. Wearing vintage style dresses.
I guess my most important takeaway message to you is how it feels to still be in my twenties. It’s mixed. Coming into a new decade is overwhelming, it just feels so closed. Like, the past is over, there’s no going back. What’s done is done. But like, ultimately, do I really want to be in my twenties forever? Will I look back, and be like, “those were the years, I’d do anything to go back.” I highly doubt it. I put a lot of work into the past ten years and I’d rather not go back and have to redo it all over again.
I hope that you’re at peace. There was a recent phase in my life in which I concluded that I would never find closure. But things do start to make more sense as you go on. You have to keep looking at the big picture.
Love, past me
Crystal Aura Gaze 