That was the broken version of me

I’m sorry to you.

And when I say “you,” I don’t mean one specific person. I mean anyone who has only known the broken version of me.

Life is a series of up and downs. We all go through phases — periods in which things are mainly peaceful and pleasant, along with periods in which things are devastating and traumatic.

We also go through phases with people. You meet someone at a certain point in your life — during a better or worse phase of your life. They could stick around to see you go up and down, or they may exit your life before you have even reached a new phase.

And so, I’m sorry to you — who first met me when I was broken. I hope you didn’t assume that that was the true me.

Im sorry that you never got to see my true personality and nature. Who you saw, was a cowardly, hesitant, closed-off person… a person who was easily taken advantage of… not the woman who takes no sh*t.

You met me at rock bottom. You got to see my eyes light up as I realized that the world doesn’t have to always be this dark. And yet you saw me block my own happiness, as I put up a wall of self-defense, convincing myself that the good times never last.

You watched me cling to what was safe, even though you could tell that I was craving excitement. You witnessed my desperate attempts to try something new, just to crawl back into my shell with embarrassment.

You tried. You tried to pull me back out of my shell. Maybe you even resorted to mind games and pettiness, just to wake me up from my foggy haze. It didn’t work.

It was timing, it was horrible timing. If only you had met me at a different time.

But time continues moving forward. And now I am not that same, broken version of myself that I once was. You’d be surprised. You might just even fall in love with her.

And here we are, it’s like the stars have aligned. We have found ourselves on the same path running into each other again. It’s time for me to show you the real version of myself — the unbroken one.

If you thought you were charmed by the broken version of me, wait until you see me now. A lot can change in a year, five years, ten years. You’ll find that I am exactly what you need.