philosophy · spirituality

This is why forgiveness is so important

For me, Christmastime is the celebration of Winter Solstice — when the light of hope returns on the darkest day of the year, as the sun is reborn. It’s the start of a new year and a new cycle, which reminds us that we have the power to start over.

As Christians celebrate the birth of Jesus, it is reminded that Jesus was born in order to bring the gift of forgiveness. They are celebrating the miracle of being saved through forgiveness.

No matter what time it is that you find this post, it should be reminded that forgiveness is so important. We need to forgive others, forgive ourselves, and allow others to forgive us too.

There is no such thing as “getting even.” Emotional pain cannot be measured, and when you strike back at someone who has hurt you, you are not “canceling out” the original hurt that was caused, you are only adding more pain and suffering into the world.

Forgiving someone doesn’t mean accepting them back into your life. You can forgive them from afar. They don’t have to know about it either.

Forgiveness is a very personal thing. Ultimately, forgiveness is more about yourself than it is about the other person. Actually, the other person is irrelevant — and that’s the first step in finding peace.

It’s not about labeling someone as “good” or “bad,” as “the hero” or “the villain.” We are all made up of good and bad parts, sometimes the good and stronger than the bad, and vice versa. This is not about finding the good in someone else, but finding the good in yourself.

Forgiving someone is the hardest thing you can do. You have to muster all of the good parts inside of yourself in order to do so. You have to swallow your pride like a hard pill with no water to wash it down with. You have to take the high road, even when the low road feels so much more enticing.

It doesn’t matter if the person who did you wrong is a saint or a monster. It’s about the space in your heart that is full of bitterness, anger, and sorrow. You’re not pushing that person away — you’re pushing that feeling away. And whether that person remains in your life or not, that’s up to the Universe. What’s up to you, is removing that feeling, not that person. And then the Universe will sort out the rest.

You deserve to forgive them, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace. And you deserve to live in a world where people forgive each other; not in a world where we count score, hold grudges, lack empathy, and expect perfection out of everyone.

You think that you can fix someone by punishing them. But really, you can only fix someone through healing — and healing comes from forgiveness. You can’t repair your past by damaging someone’s future. When you heal the future, you’re healing the past.

Think it.

Write it down.

Say it out loud.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

I forgive you.

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