Sagittarius Season

Sagittarius is the ninth sign of the zodiac. In numerology, nine is the last number, because all numbers are reduced to a single digit. Therefore, nine represents maturity, wisdom, and completion. It is also the most intense number of all, being the last. In astrology, the ninth house represents expanded consciousness in two ways: physically through travel, or mentally through knowledge. The ninth house is opposite of the third: as the learn house represents primary learning (elementary school, hobbies, basic skills, etc), the ninth house represents extended learning (college and grad school, expertise in a niche, being a teacher.)

Sagittarius is stands for the cantour: a mythological creature with the top half of a man and the bottom half of a horse. This creature is typically depicted with a bow and arrow. This represents the dual nature of Sagittarius: wild like an animal, but wise like a human. The bow and arrow represents their incredible focus and determination, proving that they are goal-oriented and set their aim high. They are always chasing after something and rarely let distraction get in the way.

Sagittarius is ruled by Jupiter (along with Pisces), the planet of expansion, spirituality, and fortune. Jupiter screams, “the more, the merrier!” Jupiter knows no boundaries; they want to keep on expanding, growing, and achieving without rest. But Jupiter is also happy-go-lucky, in that they never have to work too hard to make something happen — they just have to stay focused. Jupiter also has a strong spiritual component, implying that most Sagi’s feel a strong connection with the divine.

Sagittarius is a fire sign, along with Aries and Leo. Fire represents youth; and Sagittarius is the eldest of the group, which adds a dash of responsibility to the impulsive, energetic, and rambunctious qualities of this element. Fire signs are passionate, warm, and masculine — they are physically-oriented, action-takers. They like to take charge and are impossible to ignore.

Sagittarius is a mutable sign, along with Gemini, Virgo, and Pisces. This makes them more relaxed, easygoing, and flexible compared to the other zodiac’s. They may struggle with initiating new projects — but they are gifted at wrapping up and concluding old projects. They like to have the final word. It may be tricky for them to warm up to new people, but they know when it’s time to say goodbye.

Horoscope for December 2022

You can let yourself dream again as Neptune comes out of retrograde. You may feel more inspired to fantasize, or feel a greater connection to spirituality, during the first few days of December.

With Mercury entering Capricorn on the 6th, and a full moon in Gemini on the 7th, this marks an excellent time for communication and socialization. Use this period to clear up misunderstandings, have an important conversation with someone, or get chatty with a group of friends. The 9th will be a joyful day as Venus enters Capricorn. You may find more enjoyment through work or your personal goals.

The latter part of December brings a fresh start and happy, new beginnings. Jupiter enters Aries on the 20th, which brings great fortune, especially in regards to trying something new and leaving the past behind. The 21st marks Capricorn season, along with Winter Solstice and a brand new wheel of the year. And then comes a new moon in Capricorn on the 23rd, along with Chiron turning direct — bringing deep healing, forgiveness, and a refreshed sense of morality.

And lastly, on the 29th, Mercury turns retrograde — which pushes our communication to turn inwards rather than out. It’s a great time of reflection — be sure that you think twice before you speak, or someone may easily misinterpret you.

Check your sun, moon, and rising:

At the start of December, your voice is being heard. You could be gaining more recognition in the workplace or attracting more clients to your business. The full moon on the 7th highlights your relationship with your peers, along with primary learning. This is an excellent time for taking on a new hobby or skill with a small group of likeminded people. You will also be finding much more fulfillment through work, goal achievement, and personal accomplishment. If you’re coupled up, your relationship is entering the spotlight. In the latter part of the month, Jupiter is entering your zodiac, which brings you grand fortune — either through financial gain or emotional wealth. Finally, the new moon on the 23rd is an ideal time for planting seeds on a new business idea. Overall, this month is an awesome time for working hard and being rewarded for your strong efforts.

Taurus, you may want to considering teaching, or joining an advanced-level class, as your thirst for knowledge is spiked in December. You have a lot of wisdom, and sharing it with others, along with multiplying that wisdom with other likeminded sages, will bring you deep fulfillment. On the 7th, the full moon may likely bring you financial gain; or at the very least, a cozy sense of comfort and support from your loved ones. Celebrate it with a hot cup of tea and a warm blanket in front of the fire. Your desire for higher knowledge continues to grow as the month goes on — you may want to travel somewhere new or make plans for an upcoming vacation. In the latter part of the month, you will find your dreams becoming more vivid and prominent. This is a ripe time for deep meditation, lucid dreaming, and astral projection.

Coming into December, you’re searching for more than what meets the eye. As your intuition is heightened, you’re finding that what people say is not exactly what they mean — and you can see right through their true intentions. The full moon on the 7th takes place in your zodiac sign, emphasizing a fresh start and great harmony, as it feels like the world is revolving around you! Mid-month, you could feel a very deep sense of connection and intimacy with a loved one. Towards the end of December, attention is drawn to your friendship circle or community. If you’re looking for more success in business, spend this time networking and socializing — as you could meet a mutual friend who hooks you up with a favorable opportunity for your career. Finally, concluding the month, there’s another emphasis on solving a mystery and digging beneath the surface. A grand change for you is on the horizon.

This month, you can expect a person in your life to play a very important role — for some of you, this is a romantic interest, and for others this is a business partnership. Expect an important conversation with this certain someone during the first week of December. The full moon on the 7th may feel less social for you than it does for others — rather, it brings you a deeper sense of introspection, meditation, and reflection. Instead of going out, use this day to catch up on sleep and wrap up some old projects. Mid-month brings great pleasure between you and your sweetie — have a cozy night at home with one another. In the latter half, you’re ready to step back into the spotlight. Expect a promotion, raise, or bonus paycheck at work! At the end of December, it would be advisable to begin a new business project. This is the start of a new commitment — either in terms of career or relationships.

Leo, this month has your focus shifting on health and daily habits. The first week could bring you some excellent health advice if you keep your ears open. You may find yourself eager to share your “beauty secrets” or “fitness routine” to those who are curious. The full moon on the 7th brings you an urgency to give back to those who are less fortunate. You may feel inspired to start a fitness program, or write a social media post about how people can break toxic habits. Indulging in a hot bath or massage can really help you unwind, as Venus makes a transit on the 9th. Coming into the latter part of December, you’re feeling very inspired to expand your horizons — stimulate your mind with a new skill, a lengthy book, or a trip to a new destination. Wrapping up December, take on a different habit that will supercharge your routine.

This month, you’re feeling inspired to share new ideas and speak in imaginative ways. You could be spending more time with a child and relating to them better than usual. On the 7th, the full moon highlights your place in society — you’re thinking more about your reputation and how you present yourself to the world. Some of you are spending more time at work, or putting better effort into your career. As Venus transits on the 9th, a burst of pleasure and bliss is headed your way — allow yourself to release your inner child to the world! Visualize your biggest fantasies and laugh until your head rolls off! The second part of December could bring an unexpected burst of transformation. Those who are coupled up will feel an intensely spiritual connection with their partner. This could be a ripe time for pregnancy for those who are looking to conceive. And for others, this an awesome time to start a brand new creative project.

Early December brings an important conversation with a family member, or perhaps something about your living situation. Also, some of you are feeling inspired to speak up more about your spiritual beliefs. You may want to spend the first or second week traveling, as the full moon on the 7th highlights your need for adventure. On the other hand, it’s also a ripe time for acquiring occult, esoteric knowledge. Mid-month, there’s a lot of harmony surrounding your home life. You may be getting along better with your family or making positive changes to your residence. The latter part of December has you focused on a special someone. You may be taking your relationship to the next level, to the point where you can your sweetie as family. If you’re in a business partnership, money will flow heavily for the both of you! Concluding December, you could be moving locations or simply moving furniture around — others are welcoming a new pet, in-law, or baby into their family.

Dear Scorpio, the first week of December sparks an important conversation — between your siblings, coworkers, or close friends. On the 7th, the full moon is sure to be very intense for you — highlighting deep change and psychic power. It would benefit you greatly to lean into your spirituality on this day with a witchy ritual. You may even be able to come into contact with your passed loved ones. Mid-month brings you a dash of social charm and popularity among your peers. The end of the month has you paying more attention to your health and daily habits. Money looks good for those who are involved in healthcare, fitness, or healing. Remember that if you want to change your life, you have to change your day. Alongside, you could be starting a new hobby that will eventually lead to a lot of satisfaction and success.

Sagittarius, you enter the month in the midst of Sagittarius season, which brings higher self-awareness and hopefully for most of you, higher spirits. As December goes on, your focus is gradually shifting from yourself to the resources outside of yourself — like money, food, and the people who love you. The full moon on the 7th highlights your “shadow self,” or the parts of others that you believe you lack. Spend some extra time this week with your partner or best friend. If you’re up for it, dive deep into some shadow work. Alongside, the Venus transit happening mid-month could bless you with a lavish gift, a bonus paycheck, or some delicious food. In the latter part of December, you could get hit with a sudden burst of creative flow. If there’s a child or children in your life, they are demanding extra attention from you. Finishing up the month, you’re putting in the work and thinking a lot about longterm success.

You’re starting the month out feeling a little more quiet, introspective, and exhausted than usual — but as the month progresses, you will notice your energy steadily returning. In the first week, your communication skills are on point and you’re finding it easier to clear up prior misunderstandings. The full moon on the 7th pushes you to pay more attention to your health. Be sure to catch up on rest and pay extra care to your needs. Mid-month brings a fresh start in your love life, as your charm and attractiveness is boosted, and you’re suddenly finding more people are drawn to you. In the latter half of December, you’re focusing deeply on your home and family life. Some of you are expanding your home or receiving an expansion in family. Alongside, you may find yourself feeling more spiritual connection. Lastly, the start of Capricorn season followed by the new moon in Capricorn brings happiness and harmony! You’re ready for a new chapter!

Aquarius, the start of December brings some secretive, and perhaps even telepathic communication. Someone is spilling a secret; and they may be speaking to you through intuition rather than words. The full moon on the 7th brings you excitement, imagination, and childlike joy. You’re feeling creative and expressive — throw yourself into an art project or spend more time with any children in your life. By mid-month, you may be involved in a secret affair or low-key relationship. Possibly, an old lover or friend from the past could come back. Nearing the end of December, you could be learning a new craft and bonding more with your peers. Visiting local shops and restaurants will bring you extra joy. Along with that, you will also be entering a phase of slowing down and turning inwards — wrapping up a chapter in preparation for January’s Aquarius season.

This month will be putting more focus on your friendship circle and community. In the first week, having a conversation with friends about your vision for the future will help you manifest these desires. On the 7th, the full moon highlights your home and family life — around this week, spending more time relaxing at home, or hanging out with your family, is absolutely necessary. You’re also thinking more about your spiritual beliefs at this time — perhaps questioning your destiny. Around the 20th, someone could gift you with a present, some cash, or a tasty, home cooked meal. The latter part of December blesses you with a fresh burst in optimism. You could have a new friend entering your life, or a new cycle unfolding in your friendship group.

Book Review: The Penelopiad

The Penelopiad by Margaret Atwood is a retelling of the classic Odyssey from a new perspective.

Penelope is currently wandering the Underworld in her afterlife. She retells Odyssey from her own point of view.

Over two-thousand years ago, she was the wife of Odysseus, married at the age of fifteen. During his journey of unbelievable escapades, Penelope waited for him for twenty years until he finally returned. In the meantime, many suitors schemed in attempt to take his place.

In this novel, Penelope’s character remains fairly true to her original image. She is humble, patient, and very clever. But she is given much more of a voice than she ever had in The Odyssey. Alongside, the twelve murdered maids are also given a voice, in demanding justice for their cruel fate.

What’s also clearly presented is the tension between Penelope and her cousin, Helen of Troy. Penelope feels threatened of Helen and is very jealous of her, while Helen is condescending and dismissive of Penelope. Seeing this dynamic is fascinating.

This book was a fairly short read and I enjoyed it. I really liked the concept of Penelope speaking to us in present day, not only recounting her version of The Odyssey, but also commenting on her experience in the afterlife. There’s a lot of dark humor — along with an overall, general darkness.

My only criticism is that at some parts the story fall flat and lacks conflict, instead dwelling on the sorrow and misery of waiting around for a return that may never happen. On the other hand, the author certainly captures that feeling of floating between nothingness, having absolutely no control of your fate, and battling against the worst nightmares of your mind.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️💫 — 4/5 stars

I almost had an affair with a man twice my age

I was in my early 20s and he was in his early 40s. I held back because I thought it would leave me haunted… as it turns out, I am haunted just the same. It makes me question if we really did have a full-on affair, would I feel more spooked, remorseful, and regretful… because I cannot imagine feeling any worse than I do today.

I held back because I thought it would leave me haunted… as it turns out, I am haunted just the same.

I haven’t seen him in over a year; but last night I had one of the most vivid dreams I’ve ever experienced, and it was with him. In this dream, we knew it would be our final moments together, that we would never see each other again after this encounter. Knowing that, like magnets, we couldn’t help but kiss each other — even though there were other people in the room, yet we pretended that they were not watching.

This dream with him was extremely intimate — on both a physical and emotional level. I took him to my hometown where there was a carnival going on, and we rode down this big slide together hugging each other. By the end of the dream, I asked him why he chose to leave me in real life, and he told me that he had to do it, but that he still may return to me someday. Still dreaming, I knew this was our final moment together, and I begged him to see me again. But he told me that we could not be together.

They thought that our age gap was disgusting.

It wasn’t just the two of us in this dream I had. There were many other people — and all of them were judging us. They thought that our age gap was disgusting. People who had once known me in high school, in college, and at my job in my early twenties — they were all judging us. We could not bare the thought of bringing each other home to our families. We knew they would judge us. Nobody likes to see an age-gap relationship — even the celebrities barely get away with it.

Sometimes dreams are the best gift. They allow you to not only see — but feel, touch, smell, immerse yourself in a person who you thought you’d never see again. Waking up is the hardest part, knowing that with each passing hour, the dream will become blurrier and fuzzier. So, I replay the dream over and over, hoping that my memory doesn’t fizzle it out.

Sometimes dreams are the best gift. They allow you to not only see — but feel, touch, smell, immerse yourself in a person who you thought you’d never see again.

When I first met him, I thought it would be an affair. But as I got to know him more, I fell in love, and I wanted to be with him. I was with someone else at the time, and I left him because I wanted to be with this man who was twice my age. However, that wasn’t enough, because he was with someone else too — even though somedays he told me he was, other days he told me he wasn’t — or maybe that was my delusional mind pretending to see that he wasn’t.

I won’t go too deep into details, because the whole thing is far too confusing to recall. I’d much rather recall the dream I recently had — we were close, we were in love, but he had to go.

When I look back on what happened between us, I have two versions: one in which he’s the villain, and the other in which I am the villain. Although, if there is one thing that my dream taught me, it’s that neither of us are the villains — the people around us were the villains, the ones who were judging us, gossiping about us, and keeping us apart.

Neither of us are the villains — the people around us were the villains.

If I could ask God anything, I would ask, “Why do you lead two people together at the absolute worst timing — when one or both of them are taken, when they were born a whole twenty years apart?” We had every single factor going against us, it’s amazing that in one moment in time, even just for a second, that we felt as one.

Surviving Lyme Disease

It was the scariest health crisis I’ve ever had, and I’m still left frightened over the longterm outcome.

The disease must have crept up on me, covertly and sneakily, without any of my conscious awareness — because I did not see it until Stage 3, when the bacteria had already attacked my joints to the point of immobility.

  • Stage 1: This is characterized by a rash known as “the bullseye rash” which I did not ever recall having.
  • Stage 2: Around 20% of Lyme disease sufferers reach the second stage, which include these symptoms: “flu-like symptoms, lymphadenopathy, arthralgia, myalgia, palsies of the cranial nerves (especially CN-VII), ophthalmic conditions, and lymphocytic meningitis. Additionally, cardiac manifestations such as conduction abnormalities, myocarditis, or pericarditis may occur.” (Source)
  • Stage 3: This comes with arthritis of large joints, commonly knees.

Lyme diseases progresses anywhere from months to years. And again, it wasn’t until Stage 3, when I knew that something was very wrong with my body.

It was the summer of 2020. My knee blew up twice its size. I blamed it on moving, I blamed it on work, I blamed it on excessive physical labor and stress. I told myself it would pass. I happened to have off work that week, so lucky enough it was easy for me to spend the entire week in bed. I debated seeing a doctor, but walking down the stairs was too much of a struggle, so I convinced myself that it would pass after enough rest.

It did pass. And then it came back two weeks later, in the other knee. It was red, it was hot, it was swollen like a balloon. This time, I was at work, which made it far more difficult to hide. Everyone could see that something was wrong with me.

  • I felt shame. I felt like something was wrong with me, like I was defective and broken.
  • I felt embarrassed as everyone was staring at me, expressing their concern, asking what was wrong with me — noticing me limping around, gripping on the wall to keep me standing upright, moving slower than molasses.
  • I felt judged as if people were assuming I was “faking it” or being dramatic, when in reality, I was trying my absolutely hardest to pretend I was fine. I felt paranoid that people assumed I was seeking attention when it was just the opposite.
  • I felt scared because my body was breaking down on me and I had no idea why. I thought I might become handicapped for the rest of my life.
  • I felt betrayed by my body. I thought my body had given up on me, no longer fighting to keep me healthy and alive.
  • I felt confused about what was happening, why it was happening, how long this would be happening.
  • I felt powerless as I lost the ability to do basic human functions that I take for granted.

After a week or two, it passed. Somehow, I put on a good enough show for my coworkers to believe that I was not sick.

A couple weeks later, and it was back. It kept on coming and going, like a toxic relationship. It came for my wrists, and then my ankles, and then my jaw, and then my back… one joint at a time.

I can’t believe how good I was at hiding it — for the most part. It affected my ability to walk, to eat, to open lids… and this went on for over a year, from June 2020 until August 2021.

Finally seeking help

Finally, with a severely swollen ankle, as I could not walk from my kitchen to my living room without crying, was when I decided to first seek help. I drove to Urgent Care where my doctor gave me a diagnosis of autoimmune disease: Rheumatoid Arthritis.

The Urgent Care doctor told me to seek a Primary Doctor. The Primary Doctor was not available for another month or so, at that point in which my symptoms went back into hiding. My primary doctor completely undermined my experience and suggested seeking a foot doctor — even though I specifically told her the incidents involving my wrist, jaw, back, etc. Instead, I sought a Rheumatologist, which would be another long wait.

By the time I got my appointment, my arthritis was completely dormant. It was as if the Lyme disease, or the infectious bacteria, was a conscious entity that knew it was about to be discovered. It was as if the disease purposely went undercover when it knew it was about to be exposed. It was as if the disease was alive, aware, and trying to defeat me.

Fighting for a diagnosis

The Rheumatologist practically laughed at me when I showed up to my appointment with no active symptoms. All I had was a story — and that story came with tears. The tears came rolling down my face as I explained to her my experience, vivid flashbacks of all the upsetting emotions I faced during my arthritic episodes. Only at that point, did she begin to take me seriously.

I had bloodwork done and tested negative for RA. I had to keep pushing for answers. I got a second round of bloodwork done which now included Lyme disease — and there it was — I tested positive. (By the way, it takes at least months of infection for it to show up in your blood.)

I was put on treatment for a month of daily antibiotics. Every few months, I came back to the doctor for updates. She told me that if I had another severe episode that I could come in for an emergency appointment.

It has been one year since I was officially diagnosed with Lyme disease, and one year since I was treated with antibiotics. Following treatment, I only had one incident of arthritis in my foot around wintertime, but it was much lighter than prior episodes — and since then, I have had no arthritis.

I have been “symptom-free” for almost a year now. But there is a reason I put “symptom-free” in quotations. I am not out of the woods.

Post Treatment Lyme Disease

The CDC states that many patients can feel long-lasting affects after treatment — this phenomena is so common that there’s a name for it: Post Treatment Lyme disease (PTMD). There is no known cure for PTMD.

Lingering affects include pain, fatigue, and difficulty thinking. It can cause flulike symptoms.

What worries me is that, if I was unable to identify Stage 1 and 2 of Lyme, then how can I properly understand if I am suffering from PTMD or not? Am I disconnected from my body or a victim of wishful thinking, to breakdown that severely without acknowledging it?

I’m surviving

Lyme disease is becoming more common in recent times. Celebrities such as Avril Lavigne, Justin Bieber, and many more have reported to have gotten infected. And yet, there is hardly any research on its longterm affects, and doctors are not as aware of it as they should be.

Through this process, I’ve learned to take my health more seriously and seek out help when necessary — even when you have to fight for doctors to take your health seriously. I’m continuing to do my research and try my best to stay aware of symptoms.

Do you have, or know anyone who has, experience with Lyme disease?

I did it… I joined Medium!

Follow me on Medium

I’ve been debating for a really long time if I should join Medium. I’ve decided to finally go ahead and do it. I promise that I am not a traitor to WordPress!

The thing about Medium is that is allows a much greater opportunity to get paid for your writing, but it also severely limits the amount of viewers who can see your content. However, most of what I will be posting on Medium will be reposts from my current blog.

Again, that doesn’t mean that I am abandoning this blog or WordPress community at all. I will be using both. However, I do want to express some frustrations I’ve had with WordPress in the past 1-2 years.

My blog views completely spiked during the lockdown, as slowly trickled down as things gradually returned to normal. Thank God the pandemic is over — but it’s been very frustrating watching my views go down every day, receiving less interaction, and so forth.

But the frustration comes from more than the viewers. The WordPress community has unfortunately become watered down by spam content. I struggle to keep up with my favorite bloggers because much of the noise is drowned out by bots and spammers.

And lastly, I’m frustrated with WordPress’s monetization program. I make about $1-$2 a month on ads, and they do not allow you to cash out until you reach $100. On top of that, there’s the fee for the premium plan. The plus side is that it provides great exposure — but that exposure is decreasing as time goes by.

My apologies for the little rant. I don’t want to sound like I’m trash-talking WordPress, I’m really not, I’m just expressing these frustrations — maybe if enough of us express it, they will do something about it. But until then, I’m going to see how Medium works out for me. I’m not assuming to make a living from blogging, but some spare change is all I’m hoping for. I’m also curious to see if I can find a strong sense of community there.

This is actually a huge deal for me. I’ve known about Medium for a very long time, and for so long did not agree with their system (paying to view posts, only allowed five views per month.) I also felt like joining it would be a betrayal to the WordPress community. But now I realize that my frustrations with this platform is perfectly valid and there is no harm in trying something new. Maybe I’ll love it, maybe I’ll hate it, there’s only one way to know.

So, if you have any experience with Medium, please be free to share!

And for those who are thriving on WordPress, what is your secret? How do you still feel a sense of community with the ever-growing spammers along with the dropout of so many other bloggers and viewers?

Age 28: Using tarot & astrology to look at my year ahead

I turned twenty-eight a few days ago. A lady never reveals her age, but there you go. Nothing to be ashamed of.

Recently, (by recently, I mean just last year) I’ve been using my solar return (AKA birthday) to take a moment and see what’s ahead for me.

Let’s start with tarot. Last year, at the start of 2022, I drew a tarot spread for the next twelve months. I thought it would be more fitting to do this on my solar return, rather than “the new year” which actually means nothing unless you were born in December or January.

Last year’s tarot spread ended up being scarily accurate. I had no idea what to expect — I thought everything would remain the same in regards to both romance and career. But the cards told me that a very new beginning was coming — an emphasis on “pentacles” which symbolizes either work or a committed partnership. There were also many major arcanas, which told me that something very significant and fated was happening. I ended up getting a new job!

This year’s spread is slightly different because I decided to use reversals. This makes the interpretation slightly more complex.

Overall, I don’t see as many major arcanas — only two, in July and September. July will be the most significant month because the moon card underneath shows significant change. It seems that I will be letting go of something toxic, releasing myself from someone or something. September shows the tower — if it was upright then I would say it’s something shocking — but seeing it reverse softens the blow, it can also indicate rebuilding something from scratch or recovering something from the past.

There’s a lot of queens, kings, and knights in the spread. Interesting how many are reversed. This symbolizes people, indicating a lot of people having significance in my life, with lots of communication. Also, the moon cards show an equal balance of full moons and new moons, so nothing stands out to me there.

What will be much more interesting is looking back as time goes on and seeing how it all plays out. It’s impossible to specifically say at this point!

Last year’s solar return chart was even more scarily accurate. A huge career shift was set for me in September/October, which is right when I started my new job after five years at my prior. A lot of other details were also very true.

27 is the profection year of the fourth house — this explains the “27 club” in which there is a scary trend of many celebrities suddenly dying from suicide or lifestyle choices. Age 27, for all, is very deep and dark — it’s the subconscious coming into light. It’s a lot of shadow work, going within, connecting to your roots.

Personally, I think I did great surviving this difficult age. I made a conscious effort to reconnect with my roots and learn more about my family history. I would say that the first month of this age was rock bottom for me. I would say that December 2021 was one of the hardest months I’ve ever lived through. And it was only uphill from there. The spring of 2022 was a rough patch, but it was like seeing a light at the end of the tunnel. This past summer and fall has had its challenges but I 100% landed on my feet. I faced a lot of harsh reality checks and wake-up calls, but that was so necessary for me to align with my highest path.

Age 28 brings me to the year of the fifth house, which is completely opposite of the fourth. It’s about fun, creativity, and joy! It’s very lighthearted and takes a sharp U-turn away from age 27. I’m really excited about it. It brings an emphasis on children, imagination, and expression.

More insights from what this chart predicts for age 28 for me…

  • Sun, Mercury, and Venus in the second house shows great financial improvement. It shows a lot of available resources and support from others. It shows a stable partnership, or many reliable friendships. There’s a good sense of security here.
  • Pluto in the fourth house indicates a huge transformation of my belief systems, it could also imply a huge transformation within my family or home life. Fortune is also in this house, implying these changes will be very blessed.
  • Jupiter in the sixth house shows that health will be prioritized; my health should be very blessed this year. Chiron also here shows great healing within physical, mental, and emotional health. Neptune here indicates using spiritual methods to heal myself.
  • Uranus in the eighth house is a really unique position — combining future technology with the hidden occult. So, this could show using social media/internet to dive more into occult practices. It can also indicate a relationship that goes against traditional values and societal norms.
  • Mars in the ninth house indicates a passion for higher learning, exploration, and traveling. This year could bring a big trip or a lot of new knowledge. Being retrograde, I feel that this definitely relates to “ancient knowledge” going back into the past. There could also be a vacation to somewhere I haven’t been since childhood.
  • Black moon Lilith in the tenth house is very interesting, as this house represents reputation. This can indicate having a very dark, rebellious, and edgy reputation. The moon is here too, which adds more intuition to reputation. Overall, this projects an image of something like “alternative spirituality” or someone who follows their intuition instead of logic and rules.

Looks like a great year, and I’m looking forward to it! My personal goals are similar to last year. I’d really like to maximize my Etsy shop and put more time and energy into it to bring greater results. I’d also like to read more books, especially more fiction. And perhaps I’ll have published another book by next year, or perhaps not, no pressure there. I don’t want to push myself to overly high expectations. Lastly, I am really fascinated in healing others.

Decoding “Born to Die” by Lana Del Rey

“Born to Die” is the opening track for Lana Del Rey’s debut album, “Born to Die” from January 2012. The song was recorded and released as a single in late 2011.

I see this song as having dual meanings, and that is what gives it so much depth. There are two ways to look at it. The first, is from the perspective of a romantic relationship. And the second, is more of an existential perception.

The first interpretation of the song seems obvious: a relationship that is destined to fail. This can be easily found in the chorus.

Don’t make me sad, don’t make me cry.

Sometimes love is not enough and the road gets tough, I don’t know why.

Keep making me laugh, let’s go get high.

The road is long, we carry on, try to have fun in the meantime.

There is a sense of gloom in knowing that the fantasy of romance also comes with a harsh reality check. “Sometimes love is not enough” is the phrase that really hits home. We like to believe that love conquers all; but the unfortunate truth is that it doesn’t. There are real challenges that get in the way: like money, different belief systems and backgrounds, material factors. You can be madly in love with one another, but are still split apart those things.

But the song is not one-hundred percent gloom: “try to have fun in the meantime.” In other words, enjoy yourself while you still can. Just because it won’t last forever, does not mean that you cannot appreciate the present moment in which love actually is enough.

And so, the song is about being in a relationship that you know will not last, but still enjoying it by living in the moment while you can.

The second interpretation of this song is far more big-picture and existential. When you go beyond the chorus and pay closer attention to the first and second verses, you can see that there is deep contemplation of the meaning of life.

Feet don’t fail me now

Take me to the finish line

Oh, my heart it breaks, every step that I take

But I’m hoping that the gates, they’ll tell me that you’re mine.

This is a metaphor for growing older and moving forward in life — choosing to stay alive, to keep on living, rather than give up and die. Your heart is breaking with every step — as you age, you suffer from more loss and heartache, you face more challenges and hurdles, and everything only gets tougher.

The gates” refer to Heaven. You are hoping for sweet relief after the heartache of living. The gates of Heaven are being compared to romantic attachment — “the gates, they’ll tell me that you’re mine.” So, there is hope that a relationship that cannot survive the material world can flourish in Heaven, which is devoid of all material challenges.

Walking through the city streets

Is it by mistake or design?

I feel so alone on a Friday night

Can you make it feel like home, if I tell you you’re mine?

It’s like I told you, honey.

This next part represents the contemplation of a divine Creator and “God’s plan” verses randomness and meaningless. The question is asked if everything happens for a reason and there is a higher purpose for all.

The feeling of being alone is revealed, and it represents the fact that we are all alone. Relationships can create an illusion that you’re not alone, but that is only an illusion. You came into this world by yourself and you will leave the world by yourself.

Lost but now I am found

I can see but once I was blind

I was so confused as a little child

Tried to take what I could get

Scared that I couldn’t find

All the answers, honey

Here, the second verse is less gloomy. There is a feeling of being found, looking back on one’s childhood in which there was so much confusion and fear.

I see this part as finding acceptance: that we will all die someday, and there is peace in that, because there will no longer be suffering. In the second verse as opposed to the first, there are no questions or pondering. There is just acceptance.

And this brings us back once again to the chorus.

Come and take a walk on the wild side

Let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain

You like your girls insane.

So, choose your last words, this is the last time

Cause you and I, we were born to die.

This second part of the chorus is about wanting to take a risk in life, because life is so short and precious that it shouldn’t be wasted. You should be young and crazy while you still can.

Basically, the message of this song is that life is full of pain and heartbreak, so we try our best to focus on the positivity and pleasure as much as possible. In the end, all of us are going to die, so we should focus on the good as well as take risks and be a little crazy before our time is up. Instead of overthinking the meaning of life, we can accept our fate. Try your best to live a fun and exciting life, but remember that pain and grief is inevitable, yet someday your suffering will be relieved.

The song begins with questioning the meaning of life, and the song ends with understanding the meaning of life: to die. This is a truth that the ancient Egyptians knew — this is why they lived their lives revolved around the concept of death. In modern times, we spend our entire lives running away from this concept and pretending it doesn’t exist, which only prolongs our suffering.

Sure, it’s a very dark and gloomy song. Absolutely. But there’s also a great sense of peace and hope — in an extremely dark and gloomy way, of course.

Rest In Peace Aaron Carter

My heart breaks for the sudden passing of Aaron Carter, only 34 years old who was found dead in his bathtub by his housekeeper this past weekend.

Aaron Carter was a core part of my childhood, which makes this news feel very personal to me. Some of the most vivid childhood memories I have involve listening to his music. I remember listening to his first cassette tape with my sister in the playroom; I remember listening to him with my best friend and her older sister in their bedroom; I remember hearing his music play on the radio during car rides with my mom; I remember when his second album came out and I somehow convinced my mom to buy me his CD which was twice the price of cassette tapes; I remember all of the kids in my second grade class talking about him and his music; I remember watching him on Nickelodeon and Disney channel; I remember flipping through his album artwork and admiring those photos of him swimming with the dolphins; I remember being on a family vacation and waking up before everyone else to put on my headphones and listen to his CD; I remember going to see the Jimmy Neutron movie with my best friend and hearing him on the soundtrack.

It seems kind of silly feeling so connected to someone who never knew me, and having that illusion that I knew him so well. I actually did not really have many celebrity crushes as a young girl, I wasn’t one to hang posters on the wall of famous boys like most girls my age would. But Aaron Carter was my absolute favorite!

Aaron’s music brought so much joy to the world in the early 2000s. As a child star he had so much positivity and enthusiasm bursting out of him. I’m sure that behind the scenes he was completely overworked and taken advantage of for his money, thrusted into fame before he could legally consent to it. It tragic to think of how dark his life was, yet for a moment in time he was this super bubbly, silly, always-smiling boy who everyone was in love with.

Aaron Carter was the younger brother of Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys. I always preferred him over the Backstreet Boys. Much of his music was a theme of having these big shoes to fill, following in the footsteps of Nick. Oddly I felt like I could relate to him in that way, not that my older siblings were huge superstars, but that as a younger sibling you look up to your older siblings like idols and you feel a lot of pressure to meet the standards that they set in your parents’ eyes. I was also the youngest of most of my cousins on both my mom and dads side, so I could really relate to that feeling of trying to keep up with the big kids and wanting to prove yourself.

He seemed to fall off the face of the earth by the mid-2000s, and I believe that’s when his struggles truly began behind the scenes, with drugs and alcoholism. I found a recent interview of him explaining that his parents told them they were getting divorced just moments before he had to put on a happy face for an MTV show. Later, around 2012 was when his younger sister died of overdose, and in the following years he made claims that she abused him, and that his backup dancers abused him, all when he was just a child. In later years he had a very messy public feud with Nick. And up to his final moments on earth, he was receiving hateful messages from strangers online telling him to k*** himself every day. Hollywood and the industry, his parents and family, and online bullies were attacking him, as well as the dark entity of addiction, and he was fighting this battle that never gave him a fair chance.

I stopped keeping up with him at that point, but throughout the years, through my teen years up to recently, I would still occasionally play his songs. I knew he’d gotten deep into drugs and alcohol, but I never imagined just how deep. I know he had so many psychological demons. Knowing what has happened, I would’ve tried to show support… he was still making music… he was still actively online… he was still checking his messages from people, and so much of it was hate and disgust. I had that ability to reach out to him online and let him know how much happiness he brought to me as a kid. If he was reading all of these hate messages, he probably would’ve seen my support message.

I actually feel guilty as a mere stranger who used to be one of his biggest fans; I can’t imagine the guilt of those who he actually knew. I blame his parents, I blame the music industry, I blame the fame and money, I blame the disgusting losers who bullied him while hiding behind their phones/computers. How did so many other child stars make it out alive? How did kids like Justin Bieber who essentially copied his career somehow land on their feet? How did he pave the way for so many young singers and end up taking the brunt of it all? How did so many of us forget his enormously positive impact on the world until it was too late?

We can’t speak for the reason of his death. Even after an autopsy is released, no one can provide the truth. You can’t say if it was an accidental overdose or an intentional suicide; you can’t say if drugs or alcohol were to blame or if they were only secondary to why he died. And nobody can say that this was his fault when he was thrown into a world that he never had a say in, born into a family of addiction, of parents who pushed him into fame and then stole the money that he earned. I pray that his spirit has found peace.

As my solar return approaches…

This year for Halloween, I dressed as Bee from Bee and Puppycat, my new favorite TV show. It premiered on Netflix only about a month ago.

I went to Peddlers Village with my friend and I got recognized a few times, which I totally did not expect! The absolute highlight was when this mother walked up to me, told me that Bee and Puppycat is her daughter’s favorite show and said her daughter wanted to take a photo with me! It was so adorable. The little girl was so shy but I could tell that she was really excited. It was so pure.

I hope everybody had a fantastic Halloween! Halloween marks two weeks until my birthday. So, I’m definitely feeling more reflective, especially over this past year since my last birthday.

This was certainly a life-changing year. The biggest change, being my shift in career. I was starting to think I’d stick with my prior job forever, but it really hit me last spring that it was time for something new. I became super burnt out. I was really content with my company, but I knew I couldn’t be an animal care tech any longer. It wasn’t my ultimate path, but it was still a vital stepping stone.

In the past year or two, I watched many great coworkers leave, people I considered best friends of mine (even if we didn’t always talk every day, even if we didn’t do anything together outside of work.) It’s always upsetting when someone close to you leaves, but ultimately I have to be grateful for that. If certain people never left my department, then I never would’ve left either, and that would’ve held me back. You shouldn’t base your career path off of other people, especially when you know that you’re meant for something else.

And actually, this past year there were a few prior coworkers I reconnected with after they already left the job. These are people who I would never see outside of work. But no longer seeing your friend almost every day, gives you that motivation to make a point to see them again. Like, for example, going to the Lunar Faire with my friends Christine and Rachel. So, I’m grateful for people who left because 1) it allowed me to move forward on my own path and 2) it actually made us closer, because it gave me the motivation to reconnect.

Anyway, my new job is going really well so far. I feel that sense of belonging in which I know that this is the right path for me. I like how I was able to stick with the company, but work in a completely new environment, in a different lab with new people. I’ve met some incredible people so far, who are kind and funny, and that’s another aspect that helps me move on from all of the people I’ll miss from my prior job. Although, I still occasionally run into my old coworkers, which is awesome.

I love mixing and measuring things, it feels very witchy, like I’m concocting potions! I love how much focus it requires; it’s like a meditation in which I can drown out the world and zoom in on a single detail. I love working in a lab and being on my feet, but balancing time at my desk/computer, so I’m getting exercise without overly exhausting myself. Today, I had to walk back and forth between buildings a few times, and it weather was so nice and it made me so happy.

And of course, there’s going to be complaints about every job. Work is work. But I am genuinely happy. It’s been almost two months, and I’m at the point where I can work independently on many things. However, I still have so much to learn, and will still be in training for several more months.

Now, besides work…

  • I did a lot of research into my family history; I connected with many distant relatives through my family history blog posts — who I’ve never met, or who I haven’t seen since my childhood.
  • I published my second novel.
  • I saw Dillon Francis and Yung Gravy in concert with Connie; we also saw Alt-J and Portugal the Man.
  • My brother got married!!! I have a new sister! We traveled to the Dominican Republic for the wedding!
  • I promoted my two books through Instagram book reviews.
  • My Guinea pigs, Skull and Bones, passed away. Rest In Peace.
  • I completed the 30 day yoga challenge.
  • I made many tarot videos on YouTube and one went viral, currently 4.4k views (I know that’s not much for some, but that’s A LOT for me!)
  • My mom’s assisted living home opened up and eased Covid restrictions, with more family events happening more often.
  • I got a second round of goat yoga!
  • For the first time in six years, I got to see my best friend from high school again!
  • I read many books. Not as many as I was hoping for (I set a very high expectation), but still many, many books!
  • I learned the basics of Latin language, and hope to keep moving forward with that.
  • I took a Shibari healing class.
  • I learned palmistry and completed the level I and level II courses through zoom classes. I meet some cool classmates and had the honor of being taught by Mack and the Zodiac!
  • I know we’re not in the clear, but everything regarding the pandemic has significantly improved since this time a year ago — last December was probably the worst of it.

And I’ll wrap it up with this. This past spring and summer I made a deep connection with someone. I’m not sure what the future holds for me. I am a very open minded person. Sometimes I get easily frustrated with people but I don’t hold onto my anger. I feel my feelings in order to release them. I’m thankful for all the people who come in and out of my life, and just because endings are sad doesn’t mean that new beginnings aren’t twice as exciting. I do believe in setting people free, even though I can struggle with that, but we are all meant to go down our own paths. Sometimes that path leads you back to someone and sometimes it doesn’t. I hope that bravery can help me make my highest choices in life.

This is me one year ago: