Why is there so much pressure to be happy 100% of the time? Most of the smiles we see every day are fake, forced. How come people can’t express their sadness or anger freely, without coming off as worrisome? You know who we should really be worrying about — those who convince us that they their life is perfect and that they are always perfectly happy. Can we please all admit that life is full of hardships? Can you take a moment to think about all the pain that surrounds us? I know that I have so much to be grateful for, and I know that so many people have much tougher struggles than me, and I am always trying my best every day. But ya know what, sometimes I make horrible mistakes, sometimes I think too much, and other times I don’t even think at all. And when somebody is mad at you, it’s probably the worst feeling in the world, knowing you hurt someone when you were only trying to make them happy or make them like you. But thank you for your honesty, and thank you for making me reconsider my actions, and thank you for inspiring change, and thank you for being honest in a world that is constantly telling us we have no right to be angry. Maybe we do or maybe we don’t, but it is what it is.
I know why people are afraid of anger, because anger sparks change, and the greatest fear we have is the unknown. We’re conditioned to be passive, just smile and nod, just get along, don’t cause any friction. But this is how suppression holds its power over us. Anger can be a wonderful thing because it motivates you to actually take action, to make a change. And this world has been in dire need of change for so long. And while there may be change happening, it is not happening nearly fast enough. Nature is beating us because we are trying to work against it instead of with it. If we keep on denying anger then the same cycles are repeated again and again until finally — destruction.
Obviously nobody likes it when someone is mad at them. Sometimes apologies are absolutely meaningless to people, no matter how pure your intentions are. People have a hard time trusting one another and I honestly think that is understandable. I would rather someone admit their anger towards me instead of pretending to be okay. Yes, it’s going to hurt me really badly. Still, I respect your courage to be honest. I have a tendency to be overly optimistic and ignore the warning signs. People need to be blunt with me or else I will remain delusional. How am I ever going to grow, if I am blind to the consequences of my actions?
So don’t be afraid to hurt me or make me cry. The only thing you should fear is the pressure to be perfect, to always be happy. I believe there are two sides to every story, we are all both the heroes and the villains, both the innocent and the guilty, both the victims and the abusers in our own stories. I cannot stress how torturous it feels to know that someone is mad at you. Especially if it is someone who has hurt you, someone you have gone out of your way to impress, someone you have cried over many times, someone you have taken too many stupid risks for. None of that matters, because if someone is mad at you then that’s how they feel. It would be wrong of me to try to convince someone that I need them to feel differently, or that their feelings are “wrong.” If anything I think it’s my job to assure you that your feelings are valid no matter what, and there is really no such thing as “right” or “wrong” feelings, because they are uncontrollable and illogical and cannot be simply classified like that. It is what it is.
I can’t believe how many stupid and reckless things I have done, even when I thought I was just being nice at the time. C’mon. I know better than that. I can’t believe how many embarassing moments I put myself through. I can’t believe how many situations I walked into fully aware that it would end in disaster. I can’t believe, I can’t believe, I can’t believe. Nothing is ever 100% my fault, right? Can I truly believe that? Maybe it is time to change my entire belief system.
Crystal Aura Gaze 