Crystal Aura Gaze

In recent years, I’ve learned the meaning of feminine energy. And I have understood how important this is to me.

Disclaimer: I’m not here to speak for all women or all people in general. This is based on my own, personal experience. I’m not saying that all women need to be feminine and all men need to be masculine. There are some women who are highly masculine — and following a more masculine life will be beneficial to them. Similarly, there are some men who are highly feminine. This is about energy, not sex/gender. I believe that we are all born with different levels of feminine and masculine energy. This is why it’s so important to know who you are — not to be what’s expected of you.

For most of history, feminine energy has been suppressed. And as women gain rights in some areas of their lives — they lose rights in other areas of their lives.

As I look back on childhood and early adulthood, I see how much I was conditioned to suppress my feminine energy. As a kid, I was taught to compete with boys — and then grow up to compete with men. Therefore, my feminine qualities were seen as flaws — I needed to become more masculine in order to be powerful.

I was a soft girl. I wasn’t interested in sports and competitions — I was a dancer. My favorite colors were pink and purple. I played with dolls and stuffed animals; I played “Mommy.” I was never the leader of the class — I was the shy observer, and I was proud of that.

But as I approached closer to “the real world,” in which I’d have to worry about bills and responsibilities, the world told me that I had to “man up.” Nobody likes a quiet girl who stands back while the boys in her class get all of the credit and attention. You must compete with them.

My early adulthood had me questioning my own gender identity. I saw my feminine energy fading away, being replaced with the masculine. There was a short period where I questioned if I was gender fluid.

From a lot of introspection and inner work, I was able to see that I was born a highly feminine being. But I grew up conditioned to fit into a man’s world by becoming a masculine woman. And this was deeply hurting my spirit.

Your soul is not “a social statement.” Everything you do should come from the heart – not from the pressure to prove yourself.

I can break down the importance of feminine energy in the following areas:

• Your career
• Your love life
• Your health + your cycle
• Your spirituality
• Your general lifestyle

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Your career

Young girls are often pressured into male-dominated career paths — because they need to prove themselves against men. They are pushed into STEM (science, technology, engineering, mathematics) only because they are traditionally associated with men.

Rarely, is a young girl asked about her genuine interest in these topics. Instead, she is informed about the lack of women in this career field – and not much else about what these jobs actually entail.

Women in STEM is great, but women should be going into these fields because they genuinely want a career in this path — not solely for the purpose of making a social statement. Beyond STEM, there are many careers out there with highly masculine energy. And for highly feminine women, it is important to find a feminine career path.

I felt very pushed into science for the purpose of trying to prove myself as a woman. I do have genuine interest in science, and I’ve found fascination in the jobs I’ve had, but I don’t know if I would taken this path all over again. Most likely, I would have leaned into something more creative, probably related to reading and writing — but these are seen as feminine qualities. I thought I couldn’t make it in the world unless I leaned into masculinity.

To honor your femininity, it is important to pick a career or job with feminine qualities. This is not about stereotypes or “woman’s jobs.” It’s about embracing feminine energy — caretaking, creativity, emotional strength, softness, community, etc.

Leadership roles may not be ideal for feminine energy. And it’s not to say “women can’t lead,” because we absolutely can. But leadership can come with a sense of isolation — and women generally feel better among and group or community. Feminine energy is also more passive than dictating — and you may feel more comfortable following an established rhythm rather than being the dominant one.

Some career paths are built with requirement to “climb the latter” — constantly give yourself goals, achievements, and higher levels to chase after. This is a very masculine quality. The masculine needs a beginning point and end point. It fixates on speed, improvement, and upward direction. Without this, a man can feel unfulfilled and unsuccessful.

However, feminine energy prefers to travel parallel, or remain content where it is. She can feel successful without any external factors validating her. She doesn’t need promotions, awards, or expansion in order to feel accomplished. She feels this within herself — through her own personal growth.

Emotional sensitivity is important to consider. I’m not saying “women are more sensitive” as an insult — emotional sensitivity is a strength that gives women a higher emotional IQ. Men tend to be a little “dumb” when it comes to emotions — but they use this to their benefit in the workforce.

Men tend to have this ability to yell at one another and then get over it a few minutes later. However, feminine energy gives the inability to yell at others — and easily break down when someone yells at them. Women tend to absorb and internalize emotions of others — while men can lash out and ignore the emotions of others. This leads to a highly toxic workplace.

Some careers demand putting logic above emotion. These may also be careers that allow coworkers and managers to speak to one another without consideration for anyone’s feelings. Highly feminine women may find themselves crying at work, scared to speak to certain coworkers/managers, stressed by the energy of their environment, and ashamed of their emotions. Meanwhile, masculine energy remains unbothered.

Yet, there are so many careers out there in need of emotional sensitivity. It is empowering for a woman to embrace her sensitivity — understanding it as a strength, not a weakness.

• Does your career give room for creativity?
• Does it reward emotional sensitivity or punish it?
• Does it bring a sense of community (as a TEAM) or force you into an isolating position (as a LEADER)?
• Does it demand “climbing the latter” or allow you to remain where you are?
• Does it encourage caretaking and empathy, or does it demand prioritizing logic and rationale?

Your career – as a mother

As someone who’s dreamed of having babies since I was a baby myself — a three-year old who’s favorite toy was her doll who she imagined as her own daughter — I never once thought about career impacting motherhood. I always assumed that everything would work itself out.

Something else when considering a career, is thinking about family life. Some women choose to be childfree — in which they do not need to worry about this part. That is perfectly fine!

I went into a science career that’s just not very motherhood-friendly. It’s absolutely doable, and I see women do it in my field, but it’s just that much more difficult. And this goes for many careers, not just science or research.

My industry demands overtime. Most positions require weekend and holiday work. Some jobs in my field require coming in between midnight and 3 AM. Some jobs require being on the clock 24/7. It makes it challenging to have other responsibilities outside of work.

• Does this career allow a work-life balance in which I can have both a job and children?
• Is this a job that I can do while pregnant?
• Does this industry allow me to take several years off to raise kids, and then come back later?
• Can I set myself up for a career path that allows me to later become a stay at home mom?
• Does this job have a schedule that works around daycare hours, school hours, and school holidays?

These are things to think about while you are still in school. But if you’ve already built a career, it’s never too late to shift to a more feminine path. You can find other jobs that have feminine qualities within your company or industry. Also, you can always switch fields entirely.

If you feel stuck at a job with masculine energy, you can always find ways to embrace more of the feminine parts. Shifting your mindset is the first step. You have the power to choose what you focus on and prioritize at your job.

You should be able to go to upper management with ideas or shifts in responsibilities. You might be able to change your schedule or hours. They may be more flexible than you thought.

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Your love life

Increasingly, women are being pressured to remain single, as leaning on a man threatens our independence and makes us seem “weak.” It has become controversial for a woman to praise her partner or display her devotion.

For much of history, a woman belonged to her father or her husband. We are extremely fortunate today, in progressive countries, that women have freedom. Because of this collective trauma, anything that threatens the modern woman’s freedom is extremely triggering.

So, we have swung in the complete opposite direction, in that any sign of a woman becoming attached to a man comes with societal fear that we will regress back to those days. This puts extreme pressure on the woman to cling to her independence in order to avoid judgement from modern society.

Since I was too young to know what love was, I have always loved love. Highly feminine souls have this ability to know what love is before they even experience it. In elementary school, I was singing love songs, drawing hearts in my notebook, and dreaming about being in love someday. But I wasn’t prepared for society’s pushback.

I grew up with a lot of TV shows and movies in which a woman is applauded for valuing her independence. The main character always had a high-powered career while love came second. Putting love first put her into the desperate and crazy trope.

My teenage “relationships” were devoid of emotion and only focused on the physical aspect — making them “masculine” connections that lacked any feminine energy. This caused deep, emotional pain.

I was fortunate enough to find an emotionally supportive relationship at 18-years old. But I still suffered from emotional blockage. I was extremely guarded in my relationship, even when I had every good reason to let my guard down.

And in my mid-twenties, I walked away from a really solid relationship, mainly because of societal pressure to be independent. When I questioned if I had “settled down too soon,” people told me that I needed to “live up my twenties” and hold onto my youth while I still had it. It felt like nobody really took our relationship seriously, despite being together for seven years, we were still just seen as two kids in our early twenties.

So much has changed in such a short period of time. When my grandma was 26-years old in the 1950s, she was the last of her friend group to get married, seen as an “old bride.” But when I was 26-years old in 2020, society was telling me that I was far too young for marriage, and especially children.

You can reclaim your feminine energy in your love life by embracing emotional connection and leaning on your partner. Let go of the need for control. Understand that being in love does not make you weak. Be completely and shamelessly in love.

If I could go back in time, I would have done more emotional work on myself. It was a confusing period in my life – in which I was torn between my feminine side verse my masculine side. I let the masculine energy win, but I should have let my feminine energy win. I would’ve avoided so much unnecessary pain – for myself and those around me.

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Your health + your cycle

So much of reclaiming your feminine energy is connecting with your monthly cycle. I want to stress that the time before you get your first period and the time after you get your last period does not take away any of your feminine energy. Little girls who have not begun their cycle can be in their feminine energy, just as much as mature women who have gone through menopause can be in their feminine energy.

While you are a woman who menstruates, it is important to promote cycle awareness. When I was a teenager, I was told that your period is just something you deal with for a few days a month – stick in a tampon and pretend that everything’s fine. Maybe eat some chocolate and cry a little more. But that’s all. I hardly even knew what PMS was.

It wasn’t until 21-years old when I actually learned what the menstrual cycle is. It is an entire cycle – from day 1 to day 28 (or however long it is for you) of fluctuating hormones. For those who menstruate, your cycle is every day of your life – with different seasons and different needs.

Please read this article to learn more about a woman’s cycle.

Men, on the other hand, will never experience a menstrual cycle. They do not run on ~28-day cycles. Instead, they run on 24-hour cycles. Men live by the sun, while women live by the moon. Sadly for women, the world is designed to live by the sun.

I do believe that even women who do not menstruate also live by the moon. While the scientific data is lacking on this claim, there are still studies that suggest that the moon has some correlation to human behavior. As an astrologer, I firmly believe that moon has a pull over us – and I would argue more strongly over girls and women.

Beyond your cycle, there is a lot about a woman’s health that she should know. Science shows that women require more sleep, have lower metabolisms, store more body fat, store less muscle, and experience more fatigue. Our energy works different than men, in that we have more endurance: expending less energy over longer periods of time – while men do better with expending more energy in short bursts of time.

One of the greatest things you can do to honor your feminine energy is rest. Whether it’s during your period, during a new moon, or simply whenever you feel tired. Women often require more rest – and that doesn’t make us weak or lazy. Our strength is our endurance – but only when we pace ourselves.

A woman’s energy levels may not be as predictable or consistent as a man’s. She may have days or weeks when energy is high, followed by a crash. It can be harder for a woman to listen to her body – to understand when she’s tired or energized – because we are not physical beings like men. We are more strongly connected to intuition, emotions, and feelings rather than our bodies. So, it can be hard for us to know when we are tired and need a break.

Women also feel immense pressure from society to never ask for a break. Even in times when we know that we need rest, we tend to ignore this pull because of judgment. Society has turned us to compete against men – and taking a break implies that men will get ahead and win the race. In reality, there is no race.

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Your spirituality

Masculine energy is physical – and feminine energy is spiritual. Feminine energy includes emotions, feelings, and intuition. It comes from a place that cannot be seen or heard in the 3D plane.

The decrease of spirituality in the modern world is directly related to the suppression of feminine energy.

In ancient societies, men and women were seen as spiritually equal. For example, Ancient Egypt had High Priestesses. Even in places where women had little rights (for example, Ancient Greece), they still worshipped Gods and Goddesses equally. Aphrodite and Athena were just as powerful as Zeus and Poseidon.

With the rise of Christianity in the Middle Ages, the church took control of society. The church distinctly separated men and women into roles of dominance and submission. The Bible assigns God as a male role (although there are conspiracies that the original Bible assigned God as both male and female.)

As men took control of religion, spirituality turned into a patriarchal concept. Where there was once priests and priestesses, there were soon only priests. This has turned modern perception of religion into a masculine entity, something that crushes the feminine spirit.

But despite this viewpoint, surveys show that modern women are more spiritual and/or religious than men. Women are more likely to either go to church, belong to a religion, or simply believe in a higher power. You also commonly see more women practicing astrology, tarot, or anything supernatural.

People criticize religion because it often puts women in the “passive role.” However, the “passive role” actually grants a being more spiritual power. Messages from God cannot be received without passivity. (Who is more spiritually powerful – the one who speaks to God, or the one who listens to God?) We equate passiveness with weakness, but in this sense, it is a gift.

This circles back to the rise of masculine energy. The ability to be more passive is a spiritual gift. But in a modern world that worships the masculine energy, being passive automatically makes you “weak.”

For those who do not resonate with a traditional religion, there are countless ways to be spiritual. Men are more likely to dismiss not just traditional religion, but also – astrology, tarot, and other supernatural concepts. It’s more difficult for masculine energy to see beyond the physical.

The positive aspect of the modern world is the flexibility of spirituality. Where societies were once confined to a single religion, we now have access to practically every single religion that exists – including ones that have gone extinct. You can study and practice multiple religions. You can listen to podcasts or attend online services.

A spiritual man is a man who has nourished his feminine energy, while being able to maintain his masculine energy. But when a man expresses spiritual advancement over a woman – he is letting his own feminine energy take over.

Examples of a man trying to steal your feminine energy:

• When a man tells you “every religion is stupid and wrong.”
• When a man tells you “there’s no scientific evidence, therefore you are wrong.”
• When a man tells you “spirituality is unnecessary in the modern world.”

A man who is developed in his masculine energy will never make these types of statements.

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Your general lifestyle

Putting it all together…

• While you are still in school and planning out your future career, it is important for a highly feminine soul to choose a career path with feminine qualities. She should not box herself into a masculine role for the purpose of trying to compete with men and prove anything about her gender.
• For highly feminine souls who have already locked themselves into a masculine field or job, there are still ways to make a change. You can always start over into a new career path entirely. Or, you can find other jobs in your field with more feminine qualities. Worst case, you can talk to management about switching responsibilities or changing your schedule within your current job.
• Highly feminine souls should be aware of societal pressure to decenter romance, marriage, and children. They should determine if it’s something that they want – not what society wants for them.
• Those who menstruate should be aware of their cycles – and honor each phase of their cycle.
• Women should understand and honor their health needs that are biologically different than men. Allowing yourself to rest is the greatest way to honor your feminine energy.
• Highly feminine souls are gifted with spirituality. Passiveness is a spiritual strength, not a weakness.

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How do you know if you are a feminine soul?

The first step is knowing yourself. As I stated in the beginning, this is not about being a woman or a man. Some women have highly masculine energy, some men have highly feminine energy, and that is perfectly fine. What matters is that you are not stealing energy from someone else (ex: a man who steals feminine energy from a woman), and that you honor your natural energy.

How did I know that I am a highly feminine soul? As I also stated before, there was a short period in my early adulthood when I did question my gender. This was around the time of my early twenties. But moving into my late twenties and entering my thirties, it has become so obvious that I am feminine – but I was suppressing my feminine energy.

First, I looked at my early childhood. Looking at your early childhood, you can see the person you truly are before society tells you who to be. This is before school, before work, before sports or teams, before you are put into any type of “role.” This is before your ego is even developed.

I was a Mommy. My favorite “toy” was my baby doll – but she was more than a toy to me! And that maternal instinct is a highly feminine quality. It stayed with me throughout childhood, when I needed to have pets because I needed something to take care of. Even in high school health class, I was the one of the only people (2 out of 30 kids) to volunteer for the “teen mom” project and take home a mechanical baby.

I wish that someone would have warned me that I would grow up into a world that no longer encourages motherhood, the way they did a couple decades ago. To me, this is one of the greatest pains of feminine energy being stripped away from society. Men have longer timelines to figure out fatherhood and they simply are not born with the same maternal urges that many girls are.

But there were so many other clues, beyond the caregiving desires. One, was just being drawn to softness. That also includes my disinterest in sports and competitions. I always loved dancing – it was about expression, art, and being. The concept of “winning” or “losing” never appealed to me. I was also a girl scout – which was all about community, volunteer work, and making arts and crafts.

And then you have to examine the influences in your life. What were the songs on the radio, the movies on TV, etc. telling me to do? What were my teachers, classmates, friends, family, etc. pushing for? How many of my life choices came from my heart verses outside influences?

In my mid-twenties, I studied spiritually much more deeper, and that’s when I began to understand the concept of feminine verses masculine energy. It’s not about stereotypes, or feminism vs. sexism, or tradition vs. progression, etc. It’s a complicated subject because it’s not all black and white, it’s a spectrum. You need both energies to exist in the world. If I had zero masculine energy, I couldn’t exist. I need some masculine – I just need to make sure that it remains balanced.