Personal updates

Journal Journey: Ages 12-14

It’s time for the COW JOURNAL!

I got this journal at a family event, I think it was some type of auction thing. Don’t know why, but this will always be one of my favorite designs on a journal. It’s just so cute. And every page inside has a cow at the bottom.

In the beginning of 8th grade, I used to beg my mom to be homeschooled. Like, I really, really, really hated school.

This is me being sad about a boy I never actually “dated”, claiming that this is more painful than a breakup — because at least with breakups you can look back on the happy times together, but if you were never actually with that person, then there are no happy times to look back on….. I still think there is some truth in that. Having said that though, breakups are still hard in different ways obviously.

I am DYING at the Edward Cullen reference. 😂 Also, look at the cute lil cow at the bottom! That was on every page!

It is so funny because at the time of writing these heartbreaking entries, which I vividly remember how upset I was at certain times, I can look back and laugh. This is not to minimize the true pain I was feeling in the moment. But it makes me feel better — hopefully a decade from now I will look back at my current sad journal entries or blog posts and just laugh! I really, really hope so! Time really helps you see the big picture.

And finally this is my dramatic goodbye as I prepare to moving on to a new journal. There’s still many pages of this journal, so I don’t know why I had to stop here. I think it’s because it was the end of summer 2009, so I wanted to begin 10th grade with a “fresh start.”

So overall, I spent most of this journal writing about boy drama. There is much less friendship drama than the prior, and really, completely fixated on boys. It’s kind of interesting and entertaining to see all the dumb things I went through, most of it a lot of petty things. But here and there were some valuable pieces of wisdom.

If I could go back, similar to my prior journal, I would put less energy into those around me and more of a focus on myself. I should’ve wrote more about my hopes, dreams, and passions. This is a nice final entry, and would’ve been nicer to have more entries like this rather than “he did this” or “she said that” etc.

Overall though, it’s good to know that despite the pain, life is always moving forward.


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