Crystal Aura Gaze

Last Thursday, I had all four wisdom teeth pulled out.

My wisdom teeth on my left side started poking out when I was around 21/22. They never came in all the way, but enough to break the gums. My right side has remained impacted, while my bottom right tooth was flipped sideways, both under the gums.

My wisdom teeth have bothered me throughout my twenties but not enough to get them removed. My left teeth that grew out of my gums bothered me for a bit. But I think I just got used to the pain and learned to tolerate it. I was far more scared of the pain of removal.

However, after years of avoiding the dentist, I was finally pushed into doing it. Since my left teeth were grown in halfway, it was causing gaps that could lead to infections (and food getting stuck, gross.)

I’m kind of late to the party, as most people get this done in their early twenties, even 18 or 19! Recovery only gets worse with age. Here I am at 29. Luckily, I’ve seen enough people go through it, that I know that it’s no joke.

Wisdom teeth removal is a routine surgery, but that doesn’t make it any less traumatic on the body. I’ve seen coworkers come back to work 3-4 days later, thinking that’s plenty of time to recover, to end up crying all day in total misery. So, I took an entire week off. And I needed it.

I wasn’t that scared of the surgery itself because it’s routine. I was much more scared of recovery and healing. The truth is that they’re both scary in their own way.

On Thursday morning, Kevin drove me to the oral surgeon as my DD. He’s kind of famous there (sadly!!!) because he’s been dealing with a lot of teeth issues himself this year. So the receptionists recognized him instantly.

They had some good music playing at least! I heard “A Thousand Years” which reminds me of Mom because she loved that song; it was my ballet performance song and she used to cry listening to it. So that was a good omen. And I was also wearing her old pink jacket.

They stuck an oxygen tube up my nose, stuck a cord to my stomach, and two more cords on my chest, along with a cord pinching my index finger. I was hooked up to a machine monitoring my heart rate and blood pressure. And then I was administered anesthesia through my forearm. I sat there for less than a minute as I started feeling loopy.

“You’re probably starting to feel something,” the surgeon told me a few seconds after poking me as while the staff began getting prepared with all of their equipment. “Yeah, I am!” I nodded as my last memory.

The next thing I knew, I opened my eyes and said “I’m all done!?” And the woman standing across from me said “yes!” And brought me into another room to sit there and continue to monitor my heart and blood pressure. I sat there completely out of it but I wanted to go home so badly. I wasn’t in any pain because I was so sedated, but I wanted to burst out crying for some reason. I sat there listening to her calling Kevin to give post care instructions yet I couldn’t comprehend any of it.

Finally, I could go home, and they walked me out to the car. “It’s so cold out, still!” the woman said to me, and I laughed in agreement. Kevin brought me back home to lay on the couch with gauze in my mouth along with an ice pack. I had absolutely no feeling below my nose. This wasn’t so bad.

I had to wait another hour before I could eat something. I’d been fasting since the night before, so I was looking forward to food. The first thing I ate was ice cream. I’m really not even a big ice cream person, I prefer buttery and salty, but in that moment it completely hit the spot. Except, my mouth was so numb that I didn’t realize I was dribbling half of it down my chin.

I took my medication, which was a high dose ibuprofen and steroids. I wish they gave me a stronger pain medication, but thanks to the opioid crisis, they don’t really do that anymore. I’m not sure what the steroids were for — I’m guessing inflammation, but ibuprofen is supposed to help with that, so maybe for extra measure? I’m wondering if it was also given to me to stimulate my appetite. Eating hurt so much, yet I ate a lot on that first day because I felt so hungry — maybe from the surgery itself or maybe from the steroids.

The anesthesia faded very gradually. I was out of it for the rest of the day, just laying on the couch and binging Sex & The City. I couldn’t even really use my phone at all. I continued eating a lot, even though it hurt, but again I felt so much hungrier.

The pain was much worse the second day, once the anesthesia was fully gone. It felt like the pain meds they gave me were doing the bare minimum. At the same time, I was getting a little restless, so I went for a short walk. But then I found that walking caused more irritation in my mouth. I kept wanting to eat, but eating was so uncomfortable. I had to chew so slowly and carefully and there was a bad taste in my tongue. Even drinking water was painful.

The second day afterwards, the pain was even worse. My entire mouth hurt, but my bottom right has hurt the most — this is from the tooth that was impacted and sideways. You can see the most swelling in this area. I think my left side has hurt significantly less because the teeth were already through the gums. I went for another, and slightly longer, walk. It felt good to get out but again it caused more irritation.

Third day post operation, I couldn’t believe that the pain was lasting this long. So I rested more. By afternoon, it felt like my energy was starting to come back, so I went out to buy myself a Playa bowl. But once I got there, I realized that the bowls have granola, which would not be good for me right now! So I opted for a smoothie.

I took a few sips before realizing that I was drinking from a straw, which you’re not allowed to do for a whole week after, because it could cause dry socket. I started crying my eyes out because I got so anxious, realizing what I’d just done. I also think that I’d been presumptuous about starting to feel better so soon. I realized how tired I was and then took the rest of the evening to just rest.

Fourth day post-op, I was still experiencing so much pain. It must’ve been decreasing slightly at this point, but not a noticeable amount. My focus and concentration was coming back, so I could actually do things like writing and reading, instead of just sitting on the couch and staring into space.

I drank caffeinated tea for the first time since before the surgery. That’s probably the longest I’ve gone without caffeine since I was a teenager. My body probably needed that reset. A little bit of tea and I got enough energy to get up and clean and organize the home. I also went for another walk. There were moments when I started feeling a little better, just to feel worse another moment later. I kept counting the hours until I was allowed to take another pill.

I noticed that eating (and even drinking) significantly worsened my pain. I felt my appetite decreasing. Smiling or laughing too much was painful — and darn Kevin just kept on making me laugh!!! I was so thankful that I had taken off work for this long.

Today is day 5 since the surgery. I woke up this morning with full pain in my mouth. I’m shocked that the pain can last this long. I want to say that Day 2 or Day 3 was peak pain, but not by a significant amount. It’s this constant feeling of getting punched by someone on both sides of my mouth five minutes ago. At least, I feel like I can function okay, but the pain never goes away. It is SO PERSISTENT!

Tomorrow is my last day off and then I’m back to work on Thursday. I know that I will still be in pain by then, but more functional then I would’ve been if I returned on Monday.

So what is my wisdom from losing my wisdom teeth? I do feel wiser. What’s crazy is that I was born with these teeth, I’ve had them since I was alive, and now they are gone! I believe that your teeth, like all parts of your body, holds energy. So, I have truly shed a part of me; this is a rebirth.

And while I feel wiser, I also feel younger. My mouth feels younger. I’m so used to feeling the wisdom teeth on my left side. I remember being 21 or 22 and feeling them start to come in, and feeling like HOW is this going to fit in my mouth!?! So it’s like I’ve got my younger mouth back again.

My advice (for you kids) is that you just need to take a long time for yourself to recovery. The hardest part is putting life on pause. You could say it’s great that I got to take off work, but it’s very challenging to pause on your daily life, to deal with that guilt of “not being productive.” I can see why some people would rush back to work, to get back to normal, but you have to put it all on pause.

It’s painful. It’s no joke. It is what it is. Once I’m fully recovered, I’m going to feel so much better than I did in these past several years. Does this pain have a purpose? Is this a rite of passage? I don’t know. But I did it. I’m a badass.